The Twin Paradox Interpretation
by Anita
Summary: "A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself."


The Twin Paradox Interpretation

A knock on the door of 4A prompted one Sheldon Cooper to rise from his usual position on the sofa and put a stop to Penny, who was prattling on beside him. Something about nail polish colours or some other sort of feminine nonsense he did not understand. He answered the door, revealing two serious-looking figures.

"Excuse me, Dr. Cooper, could we have a moment of your time?"

"Who are you?" Penny asked, giving the tall brunet and his red-headed female partner a once-over.

"Agents Scully and Mulder, FBI." The woman pulled out her badge for verification and her partner did the same.

"FBI?" Penny exclaimed in shock, looking to Sheldon for answers.

"What seems to be the matter?" Sheldon asked.

Scully took a step forward, entering the apartment. "We are investigating the mysterious disappearance of Leslie Winkle. She was a colleague of yours for some time at CalTech."

"Yes, we worked together at CalTech for a short period, but I would not describe her as a 'colleague'."

"Sheldon, play nice." Penny whispered. "Sorry about that, my friend doesn't really understand the concept of tact." She shot Mulder a blinding smile.

"Thank you, miss…"

"Penny! The name's Penny, nice to meet you." She batted her eyelashes seductively.

"Did you know Miss Winkle as well?" Scully asked Penny, intent on ignoring her overture.

"Well, yeah, I met her a few times. But that was just when she was dating Leonard. Well, not really dating, but just hooking up or whatever. I didn't really talk to her after that and I definitely wasn't talking to her when she was hooking up with Howard, ew, no way. I don't even want to think about that." Penny rambled on. "But…no, we didn't work together. I'm not a physicist. Not even close. But that doesn't mean I'm stupid! I know all about Schrödinger's cat and, um, yeah…" She trailed off, blushing furiously.

Mulder gave her a sheepish smile. "That's fine, Penny. Sheldon, do you mind answering a few questions about Leslie's disappearance?"

Sheldon straightened his shoulders. "What is your discipline, Agent Mulder?"

He hesitated. "We head The X-Files, special interest in the paranorm –"

"What I mean is your academic specialty. I assume you have obtained a degree and that the US government hasn't put its citizens' lives in the hands of the uneducated."

Mulder glanced at Scully. Weren't they the ones doing the questioning here? "Psychology. I'm a profiler."

Sheldon turned his head. "And you, Agent Scully?"

"I earned my degree in Physics before attending medical school." Scully answered, unfazed. "Why is that important to you, Dr. Cooper?"

"Please, call me Sheldon." He offered politely with a nod of his head to her. "I prefer to know the intellectual capabilities of those I am dealing with; it decreases the chance of unexpected complications occurring if I am prepared."

"What he means is that he only likes smart people." Penny remarked.

"Sheldon, we –"

"Dr. Cooper." He corrected, cutting Mulder off. "You can address me as Dr. Cooper."

Mulder's brow furrowed in confusion.

Sheldon smiled at Scully. "I feel a special sense of kinsmanship with Scully as a fellow physicist and doctor, hence the first-name repartee."

"Oh brother." Penny rolled her eyes. "You aren't even a real doctor, Sheldon!"

"You haven't even graduated from community college, Penny; you have yet to earn the right to call me by any name." Sheldon retorted.

"I've got a real good name to call you, you –"

"And might I add that **I **am the one being investigated by the FBI. I don't need you here with your shameless flirting and floozy Nebraskan demeanour."

"How **dare** you! The next time you want a drive to the comic book store you can forget it. And just so you know, last week I dropped a half-bitten French fry under the cushion of 'your' spot. You've been sitting on it every. single. day."

Sheldon gasped, flailing slightly. "I knew the consistency of the seat felt off!" His eyes narrowed. "You monster."

Mulder groaned. "Kill me, Scully. Kill me now."

Scully shrugged. "This is no worse than that moronic bald man we encountered in Springfield that one time…"

"Hey, I'm not the one building up a 'kinsmanship' here." Mulder teased.

Scully rolled her eyes. "I think this girl wants to build up much more than that with you, Mulder."

"Are you actually enjoying this, Scully?" Mulder griped, feeling unnecessarily defensive.

"Come on now, Mulder, you can't possibly think this is all that bad considering everything we've been through." Scully countered with an annoyed huff.

* * *

><p>Leonard Hofstadter walked into his apartment, noticing his friends Sheldon and Penny in their usual state of perpetual argument, along with a man and a woman clad in trenchcoats and in a very similar situation.<p>

"Um…hello?"

Neither pair stopped their bickering.

He tried again, a little louder this time. "Is everything okay here?"

Four heads turned in unison to glare at him.

"Leonard, let Penny know what happens when someone earns three strikes from me for a **third** time."

"Sheldon, will you tell me what in the world is going on here?" Leonard was beyond exasperation.

Scully sighed. "We're Agents Scully and Mulder with the FBI, investigating the disappearance of one Leslie Winkle."

"Disappearance? Leslie moved to Massachusetts. She works at MIT now." Leonard explained. "Didn't you know that?"

"No." Penny confessed.

"No." Sheldon admitted.

"No." Mulder and Scully agreed, in harmony.

Leonard shook his head in disbelief. "Now I've seen everything."

Mulder displayed an appropriate amount of embarrassment as he stalked wordlessly out of the apartment. Scully paused a moment before following after her partner.

"Trust me, you haven't."


End file.
